I am falling apart. My back hurts so badly that I couldnt even help everyone paint my grandparents house today. With all that they do for us, it upsets me that I really couldnt help. I know they all understood, but it made me feel old and useless. I dont like it.. I dont like feeling sorry for myself.
On another note, Karabear fell today running after someone and they think she tore something in her knee. My family is falling apart it seems. She was a trooper, but she can hardly walk and we took her to the urgicare. They are pretty sure she needs an orthopedic doctor to look at it. Ugh to that.
On a slighly happier note, as freaked out as I am about flying, I cant wait to get out of this city for a few days. I need some sun and some relaxing and just no worries for just a bit. I feel like everything is just piling up all over me. With the boy who cant make a choice, with the fam, with my own personal goals and expectations that I am not really making right now.. I need a break. I need a miracle.. I need a sign.. something.
Im sick of being lonely.
11 months ago