What I thought might be impossible, what I didn't want to even let myself think about has actually happened. 6 months with the boy that I adore. I am ready to marry him. I am already moving to C-bus, something that I never thought I would do. Granted, the better job offer didn't hurt, but it is comforting that he is there. I cant wait to move in with him.. to see if we can start a life together. I'm excited for the trip to Vegas, I love going to new places with the people that I love. Those memories mean more to me than most other things. I took Jacob to Memphis for my birthday years ago to see if I could remember why I loved him.. why I let him hurt me like he did. This time I'm going to Vegas with the boy that I am in love with... and that I know loves me.
I really enjoy being around his family, I enjoy the feeling that his mom and brother really like me. I think even his dad is coming around. Every time I look at him, I still get butterflies. It hasn't changed since two years ago today when we met. I knew that day that I thought he was beautiful. I knew that we spent the entire evening talking to each other. I knew that he was trying to get over a past that kept following him.. but then again, so was I. The first date was interesting...I think we both knew the other wasn't ready...but somehow after many admissions that we could never and would never fall in love with each other, we still found ways to talk, to connect, to remind each other that even at 4 am when all is dark and bleak, we weren't alone.
What I consider our first real date was amazing. There was laughing, the great conversation that just keeps flowing, the way that you can look into someones eyes and it just make sense....
I know the exact moment that I fell in love with him.. he keeps asking me when it was and I wont tell him... I told him that I would let him know on the honeymoon. ;)
I am scared to death of this new future that I am creating.. but this is the first time I have really taken a chance on something that I don't truly know in my heart is totally asinine.
The point of this blog was going to be about how pissed off I was at my best friend.. well, who I thought was my best friend, but who really upset me tonight, but Im not going to even give it the attention. I would much rather focus on what I love.
Happy Birthday Darlin'. I hope that it was everything that you wanted and more...even with no power. xoxo.
4 months ago